“Ach! A dog from every village.” That’s my grandmother describing a less than satisfactory pinochle hand in which she had been dealt an equal distribution of the four suits, and no power cards to wield, to boot. This meant the hand was going to be sheer torture for grandma (and the rest of us, by extension) as she watched her “dogs” go to slaughter. Kinda’ sounds like the current batch of presidential candidates the Republicans are trotting out to do battle with the big, bad Obama. Waddya’ say we take a quick look at them? (The Republicans, silly, not my grandma’s cards).

First, we have frontrunner and winner of the Iowa (Ooops! Wait a minute.)… I mean the New Hampshire primary, Mitt Romney. And I guess now it‘s questionable whether he’s the frontrunner anymore, as well. Poor Mitt. Well, not really. Seemingly the most sane of the bunch, Romney is a cardboard stand-up figure of himself. The most electable of the bunch… if he weren’t so damn rich, white, stiff… and stiff. It’s not that Romney so definitely represents the 1%. All presidential candidates do. Romney just reeks of it a little more… and is a stiff.

Then there’s Rick Santorum, the actual winner in Iowa, who is more Catholic than the pope… and more conservative, too. Do we really want to go back to the days of “backroom” abortions, Rick? Really? (His wife on the other hand is a recent convert according to Newsweek and other recent periodicals. Her old live-in boyfriend (before Rick) was 41 years her elder – 41 years – and had been performing abortions for years). Yet, evidently Santorum has voted in the Senate to extend funding for Planned Parenthood. I applaud but I’m confused. And what about same sex marriage? Can someone tell Mr. Santorum what century we’re in.

Newt. The Florida winner. Can you seriously consider voting for a man who was the first, the first ever, Speaker of the House of Representatives to be disciplined for an ethics violation, reprimanded and fined $300,000.00. Not to mention that his personal life is a circus. The man reminds me of an old joke.
Q:  What’s green and hops from bed to bed?
A: Prosti-toad.
Or maybe, in this case, Prosti-Newt. The man is a joke. A serious joke but a joke nonetheless.

Which brings us to Ron Paul. Ron Paul is so out there that he begins to make sense. He’s the re-incarnation of Dennis Kucinich, Ralph Nader, Ross Perot et al. Get the hell out of Afghanistan, Iraq… and while we’re at it, Korea, Germany, Japan… The man, like his liberal and conservative predecessors, is a free thinker and therefore too inconsistent to fall within party lines. And unelectable. Can you really see “President Paul”?  I’m glad he’s around. I’m glad he’s outspoken and that he’s a thorn in the backside of every other candidate on the political stage, but again. No way this guy is presidential material.

Republicans 2012. Still in the game but as grandma used to say, “A dog from every village.” And a losing hand.

With no further ado, let’s get to the eGarage schedule:

Thursday, January,26th
7:00pm
Indie Improv Night (120 mins.)
Otherwise known as IIN. The eGarage is the new home for indie improv teams! Long form teams come together twice a month for a two hour show of hilarity. Showcasing performers from all different backgrounds and all different training, IIN is shaping into the hottest place for improv. Improv Nation hosts!
Tonight's line up will feature:
Rudo
Sweaters
P.i.G.
Brooklyn Brewery sponsors all things improv with eGarage. So get your cold beer for only $4!
Email Megan if interested in booking your indie long form team: mboyle@egarage.tv
Tickets: $5

Friday, January 27th
5:00pm
Open Mic Fridays (90 mins.)
No Admission Charge

6:30pm
Sh-Long Prov: The Short And Long Of Improv (90 mins.)
We're ready to bring a long/short form improvised show directly to you! A long form set, a short form set, and then a shmorgesboard of both!
Featuring the house teams: Mr. Rogers Revenge and Improv Nation.
Mr. Rogers Revenge is:
Sara Antkowiak, Annie Claffey, Dustin D'Addato, Brady Jenkins, Andy Kleiman, Jonathan LaPearl, Matt Lewis, Jayne Maginot, Jake Shafer, Camille Theobald, Bethany Vee and Jared Yoder
Improv Nation is:
Brandon Alexander, Frank Angelini, April Body, Megan Boyle, Athos Cakiades, Pamela Eloise, Katie Haller, Alex Levi-Gardes, Megan Loughran, Jenice Matias-River, Paulie Philip, Penny Sheehan, MaryLynn Suchan, Joseph Anthony Sudol and Greg Tamm
Tickets: $5

7:00pm
Improv Nation In Sh-Long Prov (35 mins.)
Don’t be confused by the apparent scheduling overlap… we’re just bending the rules and playing with the format a bit. In the brief breaks during the Sh-Long Prov performance, Improv Nation will step forward to entertain, tantalize and otherwise titillate with their own improv antics.
Tonight's Improv Nation line-up features:
Frank, Alex, Greg, Katie, Meg and Paul
Tickets: $5

8:00pm
eGarage House Team Night (150 mins.)
Come check out the latest in improv at The eGarage. House Night will feature eGarage's five resident house teams performing new formats and paving the way for improv in New York City. So this isn't another Harold but rather a new view to this ever-changing art form.
Tonight's line-up will feature (in order):
U.S. National Improv Team
The Check
D'Artagnan
Funkle Todd
Anorexic Bear
Tickets: $5

Saturday, January 28th
5:00pm
Open Mic Saturdays (120 mins.)
No Admission Charge

9:00pm
Rock The Mic (120 mins.)
A night of music from emerging hip hop and rock artists! Rock the Mic is a monthly indie showcase held in Long Island City, NY. With the best unsigned artists from the New York area, the showcases are always full of talented artists and bands that attract A&R and industry people. Shows are held once per month, and feature 8-9 artists who each perform 3 songs.
$10

Tchau for now.
Peter out.

January 23, 2012 12:46pm